Picture: Jan Vermeer/Minden/solent
Our tortie kittens used to do this with a pair of gloves, like a child playing with a baby doll.
When I saw this, I didn’t know whether to die laughing or have a little cry because it’s so adorable.
I think I’m going to invent a new craze, the new “planking” (but not for wankers) I went for a run today and used a GPS thingy on my iPhone thingy to track the route thingy. It went well. At mile 2 it struck me that the map route could potentially be a canvas to draw a picture.
I liked the the idea that my run would be the birth of a giant digital scribble only viewable to me and you. Naturally, I tried to draw a big penis. You can see from the picture, that this new craze needs some work. To complete a full shape would have needed a quick run down the M62 during Christmas rush hour, and my dedication didn’t stretch that far.
I think we should try and collect a Tony Hart style gallery with all sorts of GPS art. Art with your feet. Feet art, “Fart”…..yes…let’s call it Fart. That will work. Not only is that a funny name but you can say sentences like “Ohhh I just went for a 7 mile run and did a Fart in the shape of a frog”. Now you would be the FIRST person to say that sentence in the history of the world, who wouldn’t want that? Merry Christmas.
Hmm…new incentive to pick up running again.
Words my girlfriend has wrongly assigned to day-to-day objects.
Muffin Flaps is a completely acceptable phrase, actually.
My girlfriend speaks very fast and very loud. I think her brain sometimes struggles to keep up because she’s trying to get it all out so quickly and loudly. Sometimes, she reverts to her auto-pilot, it’s almost as if, content is going out so quickly that her inner dictionary goes into “Safe-mode” and just picks the first word off the shelf.
This results in some day-to-day things being called absolutely brilliant things instead.
For example…here is what she has called these things:
Normal Person: Mitten
Kate: Muffin Flap
Example Sentence: Are you cold? Do you want to borrow my gloves? the one’s with the muffin flaps?
Normal Person: Bag/Hold-all
Kate: Transit Van
Example Sentence: ”Where is the, the, the, where is the, what’s it called, where is the transit van”
Normal Person: Traffic/Parking Warden
Kate: Waitresses
Example Sentence: I’ll wait outside and move the car if the waitresses come round the corner.
Normal Person: Nails
Kate: Horns
Example Sentence: Owww! You just scratched me with your horns!
I still don’t fully understand wat Muffin Flaps are.
Other notable sentences, unrelated, include:
“That’s not a bird, it’s a sandwich!”
“Is that yours?” when referring to a puddle on the floor. The thought i’d dropped it.
That cat loves water, (by spnjax)
Visit from the Goon Squad - Jennifer Egan
Neil’s mum really likes Wasjigs. For those who aren’t in the know, these are jigsaws in which the image on the front of the box doesn’t match the image printed on to the jigsaw pieces. The jigsaw picture will be a different perspective on the same scene. So, not only do you have 1000 jigsaw pieces and no idea what to do with them, you’ve also got no idea what picture they make. I have neither the patience nor the inclination to do a wasjig (or a jigsaw for that matter), but I’m told the sense of achievement when you finish it makes it all worthwhile.
“A Visit from the Goon Squad” is a wasjig.
Each chapter is told from a different character’s perspective, and the narrative jumps around over a period of about 50 years, both in the past and in the future. All the characters lives are intertwined, but not in an obvious way, and what is not overtly stated is often implied. You dip in and out of lives and events, without necessarily finding out how it all panned out, but not being annoyed that there are still questions unanswered. Towards the end of the book, you begin to see just how intertwined all of the characters lives are and get a greater perspective on the timeline involved.
In fact, I got a little bit geeky about it and flipped back through the book to remind myself of all the characters names and plot lines, like a very elaborate game of cluedo. This probably has more to do with my terrible memory, and the fact that I didn’t pick the book up for several days between chapters, rather than the story being forgettable. Because of the complexities and details, I do suggest it’s one of those books that’s better read in a short session, like on a holiday, so you can enjoy it properly, without getting the marker pens out.
The characters are incredibly real, and I very quickly felt empathy for all of them. I personally wasn’t a fan of the chapter set in the future, because it felt a little bit uncomfortable, a bit like how I feel watching ‘Back to the Future’ now and being disappointed that we don’t all whizz around on hoverboards. Although the book was only recently released, I think this will age it in the future. That said, the author does have some interesting ideas about the role of technology in the family, and the changing scenery of language (for example, ‘friend’ becomes a word which is only understood within speech marks, as it has lost its meaning in modern (future) society). It also has some interesting ideas about marketing and PR in the future, Egan suggests that the power of recommendation from our ‘friends’ (who’s opinions can be bought) will become far more prevalent in years to come - not something I’ve thought about before, but definitely an idea with a lot of validity.
It’s had a lot of hype recently, and it deserves the hype. 5/5.
This is the 21st book I’ve read this year. You can read my other reviews on my blog.
This book has sat, unread, on my bookshelf for a very long time. After an ex-colleague tweeted about reading it, I picked it up and gave the first chapter a read.
It’s very easy to see why it’s such a popular book, the story sucks you straight in, but the narrative style is familiar, like Aesop’s fables or a Bible story.
The book focusses on the lead character’s encounters with God and his journey to discover his personal goal and desires in life. It has good morals about overcoming set backs in order to achieve your goals, but I was surprised to see Santiago’s ‘treasure’ turn out the way it did. I love the idea of omens, and of making your own luck, and thought there was an interesting balance between being the master of your own destiny, and working towards achieving a pre-destined fate. The book is rooted in religious beliefs and a relationship with God, but I thought the overarching power was held by nature, the ‘language of the universe’, rather than the old man with the breastplate. Perhaps that’s a result of my own ideas about religion…
It’s a short book which can be read in one sitting, and deserves its place on the best sellers list. If you haven’t read it yet, make sure you do - especially if you’re in a grumpy mood and you’re in need of a bit of a lift.
This is the 20th book I’ve read this year. You can read my other reviews on my blog.
Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
I put off writing this review for a long time. Catcher in the Rye is meant to be a classic, and I’d heard great things about it, yet I struggled through every page thinking the lead character was a complete moron. I thought I was missing something profound about the book, but because it is so highly regarded by so many, a bit of me didn’t want to post my slating review in case I’d missed the plot entirely.
…turns out, I hadn’t really missed anything. The lead character IS a complete moron.
What I wasn’t expecting to hear from my bookgroup who discussed the book, was that this is a book that many people read and re-read through their lives, and have very different experiences each time. Young readers admired his assurance, people in their 20s were annoyed by his cockiness, people in their 30s recognised some of their own hot-headedness when they were that age, and those in their 40s/50s were reminded of their own teenage offspring…it’s quite a masterful skill to be such a different book to different people, and I think Salinger does that well. But for me (in my twenties), that’s about where it ends.
…Ask me again in 10 years.
You can read my other book reviews on my blog.
